MP pwned by Yoof

*pssst*

Wanna see Will Quince MP get pwned by a 17 year-old?

G’wan…

It all started with the subject of votes for 16 year-olds; it ended with bloody Jumbo.

EVERYTHING in this town must end with bloody Jumbo.

Including Jumbo itself.

And so the MP for Sunny Colch declared that he is no great fan of giving yoof the vote.

Which is kinda understandable.

Comrade Tim Young cottoned on during the General Election campaign that Corbyz is where it’s at for the yoof, and not Tim’s brand of more… ‘conservative’ politics.

But that’s for a different blog post.

And so back to Our Man in Westminster.

He doesn’t want yoof to vote – probably because yoof will give his party a bloody good kicking.

This is all highly topical stuff. Saturday saw the Fresher’s Fair up the road at the University of Essex.

And whaddya know – Will (and Timbo) was in attendance.

The absolute WAG etc.

This led to one Twitter user reminding our MP that in the past he has accused *some* students of voting twice.

Twitter is never the best platform for the finer nuances of political debate.

But in the tit-for-tat online world of bantz, Quince was quick to come back.

It all then got a little ugly, before getting rather amusing at the end.

DISCLAIMER: that is the view of a @peachy_charlie_, and NOT the view of The Chronic.

Phew.

Glad we’ve cleared that one up.

The bantz went back and forth.

Mr @peachy_charlie_ managed to raise his game and offer up some half decent debate on Quince’s voting record on the homeless, before delivering the bloody Jumbo KO.

Once again: this the view of a @peachy_charlie_, and NOT the view of The Chronic…

Ah, Jumbo.

We don’t need to recycle that old debate here.

Colchester’s great totem for the marvels of Victorian water engineering was politicised long before @peachy_charlie_ was probably born.

Now who’s patronising yoof, eh?

Quince pointed out that the most recent planning application to sort out Jumbo was refused by LibDem and Labour Cllr’s that prop up the *apolitical* CBC Planning Committee.

Yep.

No whips here.

The diligent @peachy_charlie_ chap has been doing his homework.

*we quite like that line*

The bounder! The cheat!

Quince said nothing of the sort!

PWNED

By a 17 year-old.

The modern interweb is a wonderful thing.

Fixing the Housing Crisis, Sunny Colch Style

We’re back to going around the houses when CBC Cabinet next meets [pdf] at the Town Hall on 11 October.

The LibLabIndie love in will no doubt be agreeing the agenda item:

Planning for the right homes in the right places: consultation proposals

Someone at the Town Hall is having a lot of FUN in coming up with these report names.

The background is that those nice Tories in Westminster have come up with a White Paper:

Fixing our Broken Housing Market

We’d ask first who has broken the housing market, and how were they allowed to get away with it…

Such concerns aren’t the remit for the CBC Cabinet. This won’t stop political posturing as the LibLabIndie lot do their usual finger pointing.

What Cabinet can do however is to agree to a response for the Department of Communities and Local Government.

In fact they’ve probably already agreed the response. Cabinet remains a farce so that the Little People can see that democracy is being served in their interests.

This is all about central government setting housing targets to ‘fix’ the housing market that someone has unfortunately broken.

Colchester is expected to increase its share in housing by 19% – 1,065 homes. To put this in some context, the Tories reckon that between 225,000 – 275,000 new homes need to be built in England – EVERY YEAR.

That’s some broken market, Comrades.

But wait! What’s this?

If the CBC Local Plan is pushed through by March 2018 then the figure for Sunny Colch drops to 920 new homes.

Phew.

We think?

The Cabinet report adds:

“There is a move to strengthen cross-boundary planning and Councils will have to produce a statement of common ground with neighbouring authorities.”

CBC is doing rather well in mopping up the the Tendring housing spillover with the bloody Garden Village.

Speaking of which, Tendring has been identified by central government as having the ‘greatest housing need.’

You don’t say.

A whopping 36% increase in new houses is needed.

This kinda explains – but doesn’t justify – the eastern Garden Village.

The final say on the response to central government will fall to the CBC Local Plan when it meets on 6 November.

Now would be a decent time for Cllr Goss and his chums to get their arses in gear and complete the submission by March 2018.

CBC Splashes the NHB Dosh

With the summer jollies out of the way at the Town Hall, attention now turns towards budget setting.

OH JOY.

Never let it be said that #localgov ‘aint SEXY, Comrades.

CBC officers will be ‘guiding’ Cabinet through some of the decisions that need to be made between now and Budget time in February.

The papers have been published [pdf] for the Cabinet meeting on 11 October.

They include:

2018/19 Revenue Budget

It may sound dull, but this is the financial buts and bolts that have an impact on how we live our lives around the town.

Why has this Council facility closed? Who made the decision to pump cash into this scheme? And why is the High Street looking a little stinky poo early on Saturday mornings?

Of interest next Wednesday is the new Homes Bonus. This is a grant paid by central government to CBC to reflect housing growth in their areas.

Put simply: build houses, we’ll give you a [legal] back hander.

Nice.

The 2017/18 CBC budget agreed to allocate £2.036m of the NHB to deliver projects which support the strategic plan.

Anyone who has had had any online or offline correspondence with the Council should be familiar with the buzzword mantra of:

Vibrant, prosperous, thriving, welcoming.

It’s a load of hairy old bollocks to be honest. ANY policy coming out of the Town Hall can somehow be shoe horned to tick one of the strategic plan priorities.

A stinky poo High Street?

We need the #HotJetWasher so that our town is vibrant, prosperous, thriving, welcoming etc.

£1.575m out of the £2.036m has been spent to date out of the NHB.

This includes £750,000 on the Northern Gateway, and £250,000 to prop up the Garden Village vision.

Which leaves Cabinet on Wednesday in the position to go on a bit of a civic spend.

Three key projects have been identified:

Castle Park toilets are set to have a £200,000 boost.

Highwoods Country Park will benefit from £25,000 to look at the idea of adding a catering facility to the site.

Community Hubs will have a £50,000 allocation to develop ‘digital spokes.’

We *think* that this means pushing residents online in libraries to ‘engage’ with the Council. It’s a lot cheaper than employing people.

This still leaves £186,000 unallocated from the NHB.

Maybe too many new homes have been built?

Or CBC are just tight arses.

What Tim Did Next

And so farewell Tim Young.

BEHAVE.

Much to the disappointment of the small band of alt righters around the town, the Leader of Colchester Labour Party is going nowhere.

He also isn’t going to Westminster…

Confirmation has come that the Colchester Parliamentary seat will be contested by a female candidate, whenever Teresa May next has a walking holiday wobble.

Which is a something of a shame.

The Marmite Man of Sunny Colch was building up the momentum [steady] after his MASSIVE swing of 19.1% back in June.

Tim has told BBC Essex that he is “personally disappointed.

Which is perhaps the most understated public comment that he has ever made…

He also told the Beeb that he is in favour of the lists as a principle, but local issues should be taken into account.

You can’t argued with that.

It would be disastrous if Labour party HQ parachuted in a female candidate to fight the seat. There are a number of half decent female candidates already on the ground in Sunny Colch.

Don’t rule out a power pact with… Cllr Julie Young.

If Tim’s magpies eyes can’t have the prize, then how about the other half of the local power couple?

Will Quince MP offered his political condolences.

Anyone who watched the Tim and Will Punch ‘n’ Judy punch up at the Mercury back in June will know that they both feed off each other.

As for What Tim Did Next?

Continue with the push to gain more control around Sunny Colch, STOOOPID.

Victories in the Abbey division for ECC and the Shrub End push for CBC show that the local party is becoming an election fighting machine.

The LibDems are looking a little washed out. Tim’s aim will now be to become the senior partner in the CBC Coalition.

His magpie eyes are hungry for the prize, Comrades.

Edited to add an afterthought: Clacton isn’t a target Labour seat. And neither is Harwich and North Essex…