Growth, Responsibility, Opportunity, Wellbeing: CBC ’18

Anyone who has an interest in how Colchester Borough Council brands itself would do well to attend the Cabinet meeting taking place at the Town Hall on 31 January.

Our exposure to the current tagline has us singing Nursery rhymes to send us to sleep themed around:

“Vibrant, Prosperous, Thriving and Welcoming.”

It’s all a load of bollocks.

And bollocks to them all, etc.

If local authorities aren’t working to make the life of residents even better, then something is wrong.

Don’t keep on telling us about it Comrades.

Just bloody do it.

Which brings us back to the Cabinet rebranding exercise in the Grand Jury Room next Wednesday.

Sitting on the top of the agenda [pdf] is:

Strategic Plan 2018-21

NOW we’re talking.

SEXY #localgov.

The Strategic Plan prioritises what the Council wants to achieve over the next three years.

Like we said – just bloody get on with it.

But as ever, buzz words are needed to package all this policy up.

And so between now and 2021, The Chronic can look forward to drifting off singing songs about Little Bo-Peep and:

“Growth, Responsibility, Opportunity, and Wellbeing.”

It all sounds like the outgroove of a SEXED UP Prince album from the mid 80’s

A little added detail is included in the report.

The Strategic Plan plays the rather important role of forming the medium term financial forecast for the borough. It underpins the decisions that are made in the Budget each year.

The Nu mantra of Growth, Responsibility, Opportunity, and Wellbeing adds a further layer of buzz words for you to salivate on in your sleep:

“Anti-social behaviour, business, communities, environment, heritage, housing, jobs, tourism, transport, and wellbeing.”

These will alll form the focus for CBC for the next three years.

You would hope that these would form the focus irrespective of any official endorsement in a Strategic Plan…

A consultation with local residents took place towards the end of 2017 to help shape the report.

The response rate of 85 residents is piss poor tbh.

Still, some decent comments were left by some of the Little People who took part:

“They like the countryside surrounding Colchester, especially those with young children.

They believe that being slightly further out of London helps Colchester maintain more of a rural image, yet still being connected to the heart of Essex and London.

They want the town centre to be more accessible and appealing, and recognise that the Council cannot work on its own in dealing with the town centre challenges.”

Some nice pics of Fenwick also feature in the report.

Fancy that.

Elsewhere we find out facts such as:

“Curzon cinema nearing completion of the conversion of Roman House.”

The last we heard was that the project had been delayed until the ‘Oscar season’ – ie a couple of months away.

Is the building almost ready?

Other observations include:

“Fixing the Link walkway from North Station to Town Centre completed.

More than 1,100 cases of homelessness prevented through pro-active support.

The I-Spy and ‘If Our Walls Could Talk’ tourism campaigns reached a potential audience of 7 million people across a wide range of promotional channels.”

That will explain the 6m+ tourists, then.

If Cabinet agrees the report – and it will – then the next step will be for Full Council to endorse it.

Altogether now:

Vibrant, Prosperous, Thriving and Welcoming Growth, Responsibility, Opportunity, and Wellbeing.

Good night, John Boy.

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