Mayor Making Bollocks

The first meeting of the new CBC administration will take place [pdf] at the Town Hall next Wednesday.

But before you go sharpening your pencil ahead of a politically opinionated Have Your Say speech, relax.

It’s just the hairy old bollocks of bloody Mayor Making.

This is CBC at its best / worst.

Cllr’s will parade around the Moot Hall as though they are stuck in Medieval times. Civic fur will be worn.

It holds absolutely no relevance to mechanisms and challenges facing a progressive 21st Century local government organisation.

Which is just as well, seeing as though CBC has no ambitions to be a progressive 21st Century…

The public unfriendly time of 10:30am is when the feudal procession will start at the Moot Hall. It would be the ideal stink bomb letting off opportunity, if we didn’t have jobs to go to.

But then again…

And so congratulations to Cllr Theresa Higgins of New Town ward who will officially take up her Mayoral year in the borough.

Theresa would have made for a decent Leader of the LibDem group in the absence of any other obvious talent.

Before the local elections that took place two weeks ago we had a Tory Mayor and a LibDem led administration.

Next week we will have a LibDem Mayor and a majority Tory group on the Council that won’t be forming an administration.

Sunny Colch hasn’t quite been turned upside down, just sideways to try and hide the BONKERS outcome that the election by thirds system delivered.

And congratulations to Labour’s Cllr Julie Young as well, who will take up her new role as the Deputy Mayor.

It’s a good job that the *ahem* Mayoral spat that we’re not allowed to blog about for legal reasons didn’t stop the Comrades of the Colchester Labour party from jumping into bed with their LibDem pals to prop up the careerists.

If you are lucky enough to be able to blag a ticket for the Moot Hall Mayor Making bollocks then be prepared for plenty of civic deference.

We’d rather stay in bed for the morning to be honest.

The agenda states:

“National Anthem (members of the public are asked to remain standing after the National Anthem whilst the Council Procession leaves the Moot Hall).”

Like Punk never happened.

And then we get on to the admin.

The high and mighty will take up their seats back in the Council chamber, whilst the Little People are allowed to squeeze into the public gallery.

Hint: there will be ample space.

The appointment of the Leader of the Council will be the first task.

Cllr Lyn Barton is the new Leader of the local LibDems, but she won’t be the Leader of the Council.


Step forward instead Cllr Paul Smith, who will have precisely a year to persuade the electorate that his party still has some energy and enthusiasm, ahead of the all out elections next year.

Appointing various members to various committees will follow.

Middle aged men and women will bob up and down, grinning as they do so as if this is the way that normal people behave.

The only real interest on the agenda is the Amendment to the Constitution.

Having just dissed CBC for being backwards, this is actually an agenda item that promises plenty.

Essentially Cllr’s are being allowed to use the modern interweb during Council meetings.

The amendment states:

“The discreet use of phones, tablets and laptops and other such devices shall be permitted at meetings of the Council, including full Council, Cabinet, Panels, Committees or SubCommittees.

Use of devices by Councillors for viewing or participation in social media, including, but
not exclusively, Twitter and Facebook shall be at the discretion of the Chairman.”

This one was of the final acts of that nice Mr Pickles before he got the push from the DCLG.

His old department wants to cut down on paper waste. The proposal is for agendas to be dispatched to Cllr’s electronically.

You need a device for that.

And so that will be the hairy old bollocks of Mayor Making for another year.

There’s been some hit and miss Mayors of Sunny Colch over recent years. We still don’t get the deference that is given to the position.

They are Cllr’s, not bloody deities.

But we reckon Cllr Higgins will be half-decent.

All rise.